I started to learn Russian in the Summer of 1961 when I was a Lifeguard in NYC Beaches. My helper was a Ukrainian immigrant Lifeguard who would help me in pronunciation. Little did I know but my pronunciation and even words would later betray me as Ukrainian taught. But that is a tale for later. In 1961 Russia was our biggest enemy. It would take another year to get to the Cuban Missile Crisis but clearly 1961 was a nuclear threat environment.
In the late 60s at MIT I took Russian in my foreign language requirement, by then you had a dictionary and all you needed to do was translate a technical paper abstract. I got through.
In the early 70s I got involved in some [politics in what was then the Coalition for a Democratic Majority, a right wing Democrat organization which later became the Neo Cons. In the process I had the opportunity to work with Professor Richar Pipes, and got educated on Russia, its history, and the current Russian threats.
By the late 70s I was seconded to the Arms Control and Disarmament Agency, ACDA, negotiating the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty, CTBT, with the Soviets. I had several meetings with the Russians and even attended receptions in the Soviet Embassy.
In the early 1990s I went to St Petersburg, just as it was opening up. The old Soviet styles still lingered. We stayed in an Intourist (KGB) hotel and since I had a modest facility in Russian managed to see the city that most westerners missed. I saw ballets for $0.50 whereas the other westerners paid $50.00! My Russia was workable and my attire was not classic western.
By the mid-1990s I started my international company with a Polish partner and an émigré Russia associate. Off to Moscow. Not as some American executive, but again as a bit of a man in the shadows. No ego, not American attitude. Luckily my wife was a Russophile, Czarist era, and when my Russian partners (most former KGB) took her on a tour of the Kremlin, she could explain all the paintings and history. For a moment people though her as a tour guide and praised her for her English! My Russian partners were impressed.
Thus for almost ten years I worked with them, 1996 to 2005. We parted friends and I still get annual birthday greetings from Moscow!
As for Ukraine, I had dealt with many Ukrainians and even went to Lvov to examine the Soviet satellite earth station.
The current state of Russian and American relations are in my opinion and my experience a result of American overstepping. It started with the American academics telling the Russian how to do business. They did so with no understanding of Russia and its culture. The result was a disaster. Then they expanded NATO, while Russia was just trying to develop a stable economy. The Russian dreadfully fear threats on their borders. Thus as NATO expanded so did the internal fears of Russia. However if one looks at the Baltic States and especially Poland one sees reasonable concerns, thus NATO could be justified but was seen as a threat to Russia. From these two issues; the economy and the border security, came Putin.
Putin is clearly former KGB. I had run across an East German STASI operative who was his counterpart. She made Putin understandable. Also it was clear that he harbored a dread of the West and a bubbling anger over the collapse of the Soviet Union. Thus the short steel eyed Slav evolved into what we see today.
Now as to Ukraine. It always had some separate stance especially the Western part. The Ukrainian in the west is akin to Polish whereas in the East is Russian. Just thinks of “thank you”. Thus borders were always somewhat flexible.
Now come to the current fiasco in the White House. First think of Churchill and Roosevelt. Think Lend Lease. Churchill came hat in hand and understood how to deal with FDR. He was prepped by MI6 as regards to FDRs mannerisms, how to approach him, how to cajole and persuade. Churchill was a quintessential salesman. He got what he needed. In contrast the current Ukrainian President came demanding and complaining and clearly lacked any understanding of the current US President. One suspects he may have been told but his own arrogance could not accept the advice. Churchill dressed appropriately, the Ukrainian did not.
Understanding the current US President dictates a style of communications which many other foreign leaders have understood. Letters from a King gets one a good trade deal. Hugs from the French assures low tariffs. It does not take much. But scolding anyone in front of the Press gets one the door, permanently.
The question then for the US is; do we still have productive issues to discuss with Russia? Clearly the current president and the DOGE head are no Nixon and Kissinger, but there can be an argument made. Also we import nothing from Russia, except minerals such as vanadium, critical in our fighter aircraft.
Thus what can we expect for the next steps? The US wants to try to neutralize the Russia/China/Iran axis. We have no means to deal with Iran. China is a real problem under the current leaders. Russia feels it “just gets no respect”. Thus, the Kissinger strategic mindset needs to become available; one should think strategically and one who can work the ego of the President.
But the controlling conditions the US must deal with are; (i) Ukraine cannot joint NATO, it would be seen as an existential threat to Moscow, (ii) Ukraine is now a force amalgam of east and west. Perhaps the demands are that the east which is predominantly Russia become such, (iii) the notion of “peacekeepers” is fraught with peril, (iv) the current Ukrainian president seems committed to continuing the battle, it is clearly a no win situation, and how does this get resolved, (v) the US has a limited strategic interest, proxy wars never end well, (vi) the US should engage Russia independent of Ukraine. Fortunately the current Ukrainian president has facilitated many of these. But we still need a Kissinger.